The Good, The Bad, The Tired.

So I know I always say this but I am sorry that I have been on a hiatus. As most of you know I am going to school along with the bazillion other things that are going on in our lives right now. I am currently taking my last math class that I will have to take until I go for my Bachelors and am also in Anatomy and Physiology. This has, by far, been the most stressful semester I have had. I am pretty much in the thick of the "real stuff" as far as completing my prerequisites to apply for Nursing school. I was doing some research the other day and although I can apply to Nursing school for next Fall, I still have A LOT of general ed requirements to fulfill. I get that my counselor wants me to apply because of the waiting list at Pima but there will be NO way that I will be able to take any additional classes once I do start Nursing school. We are talking about 22 credit hours per semester.  
Another obstacle in knowing that, is I won't even be able to think about going when I get accepted unless we have another vehicle. These classes are not something you get to pick and choose, they are chosen for you. If you can't work it out then, tough, and you have to go through the whole process all over again.  I feel like it's all going so much faster than I ever expected. I had hoped my kids would all be in school by the time I was doing to hardcore classes. That doesn't seem like that will happen so again I am stuck thinking about what I will do with my two little ones. I have mixed feelings about all of this. Sometimes I feel like maybe I do need to slow down and really enjoy staying home with my babies. I don't want to send them to daycare and let someone else raise them. I don't want to miss a single thing and I feel like I already sacrifice so much just taking two classes at a time.  Richard is starting T-ball this weekend and looking at the schedule I already know that I am not going to be able to make it to see his games. I ran into this problem last year with Aiden's baseball team.  Aiden has a lot of school functions that fall on Thursday's that I can't make because, again, I have class. The classes that I am taking now aren't just show up to class, study for an hour and fly through. I spend more time studying than I spend in an actual classroom.  This means later nights. (Which I didn't think was even possible due to Gianna's non-sleeping habits) Earlier mornings and learning to function on very little sleep.
I have to give it to the mom's out there that seem to have it all on point. Some day's my house is a jungle and it makes me really reconsider if doing what I am doing is worth it. In the long run I know this is going to help my family tremendously financially and it also gives me a sense of pride in accomplishing something that I have wanted for a long time. I still have that pang of guilt that I am not as present in their lives as I am used to being. I feel like my choice to have children was a choice to put their well-being above everything else so I can't help but feel a little selfish when I have to leave them to study or I miss out on things because I have to go to school. I guess I have a lot of back and forth and today is one of those days where I am just having a hard time.
I suppose I should end the sob fest and give you a little update on what all my little monkies are up to these days!

 Aiden started 1st grade in August and absolutely LOVES his teacher. Last year he had a hard time communicating and was pretty reserved. This year I have been going in on Tuesdays and volunteering in his classroom and his teacher said that he is finally coming out of his little shell.  We had open house yesterday, we sadly had to rush through it but he was pretty excited to show me all of the things he was doing in class. He is learning some sign language and thought that signing the word "insect" was pretty funny. There is also a little girl in his class that has a crush on him. It is adorable! His dad signed him up to take golf lesson's on Saturdays so he has been enjoying that. We are still working on trying to get him into another sport but we have some conflict because of games falling on visitation days with his dad.

Richard had his first two t-ball practices this and last week. His first game is this Saturday.  It was interesting to say the least....He is VERY high energy and so he had a hard time standing still and listening to directions. He was so happy and excited the whole time we practiced on the first day. The second practice he had a harder time and didn't really want to participate. Hopefully this Saturday he does ok in a game setting. He is still all boy for sure and is really into Power Rangers at the moment. He now wants us to call him Jayden. I think it's the white ranger...not positive. He is also trying to convince his dad to let him be a Power Ranger for Halloween. 

Gianna......Where to start with my little Princess....Gianna is just all diva.  She is so funny and prissy and full of energy! She loves playing with her brothers and she is starting to boss them around a bit.  She calls Richard "papi" so we hear a lot of, "Papi NO!!" around here.  She is still a daddy's girl and loves to sing and dance. She is our best eater and most days will eat all of her food and whatever her brother's don't finish.  She loves to cuddle and give besitos. She is talking so much about everything! She can't quite say the "c" or "k" sound so they come out a "t" or "p". She asks for her "milp"(milk) or her "tup" (cup). Tells the boys to "be tiyet" (quiet). Before bed she wants to give everyone "tisses".

Rick and I are doing great! We are really making an effort to make time for one another especially because of how busy we have become. He took me to dinner on Tuesday for my Birthday so that was nice to have a little bit of quiet. We always laugh because we finally get a break and all we do is talk about the kids the whole time we are without them! He still gives me butterfly's after all this time and I am more in love with him today than I ever have been!  I don't know how many of you read this but thanks for taking the time to finish my random ramblings. Sometimes it's a little bit of therapy in itself just to give my thoughts an outlet into a little but of structure.  Hope you're all well.
Until next time.
S

2012

Ahhhhh Where to begin... 
So I got through my first semester of school! Waiting on final grades from my Writing class was a pain. I didn't do so well with the online setting so I am going to have to retake it in the summer which is sort of a bummer but at least this way I know I will need to be on campus to focus on what I need to get done.  This semester will be a challenging one as I am taking a math class and a bio class. ::gulp::
I was accepted into the JobPath program which is going to put me through my prerequisites before I apply for the Nursing School. I meet with my adviser through the program twice a month, they give me gas cards, help me out with tutoring if I need it and pay for my books and classes. If anything comes up that is keeping me from succeeding they basically do everything they can to help me stay in school. So far the fire in me to keep on this path is still lit so I am doing everything I can to make sure it remains there.  
The kids are all doing well. Growing like weeds and are little walking, talking reminders of  just how fast time is moving.  
Aiden has been doing so well in school. He is achieving in an above average level when it comes to his school work. He read me an entire Dr Suess book before bed the other night and it truly brought tears to my eyes. We are still working on little behavioral things here and there but he is such a great big brother and happy little monkey!

Richard is...well....just Richard...He is hell on wheels and is proud of every little burst of energy he throws out. This kid is truly something else. A comedian and a love bug all at the same time. He will be the child that will teach me the true meaning of patience!!

Gianna is not far behind Richard in size now and has almost as much energy as her big brother. She is a little bossy and just oozes attitude. She loves her mommy so much that she just can't kick the breastfeeding!! That is until daddy arrives home, then no one else in the world exists.  She follows Aiden everywhere he goes because he carries her around. The only problem with this now is that she is getting too heavy for him! It's quite a funny sight!

Rick and I are doing great. Still finding time whenever we can to just have that "us" time.  I think that this is so important in any relationship and I believe that not enough people set that time aside for their partner. It's so easy to get caught up in the busyness of our lives and of course adding kids to the equation sometimes the adult conversation is what lacks and gets pushed aside.  We are firm believers that we are the base that our family is built upon. If that starts to crumble apart it all starts to fall down!

This year I didn't make a resolution. I find that I usually don't stick to them but I have been becoming more aware of a lot of things around me. My focus is my family and making sure that they are all taken care of. I am trying to put my bad feelings aside and put as much effort out there that my ego will allow!! Anyhow I hope you are all doing well. I will definitely try to stay on top of blogging and keep my creative juices flowing!

A little breather

So it has been a lengthy gap since my last update but I think when life starts to get really busy, it all seems to happen at once.  All of the kids are asleep, which is just a miracle in itself. Gia will probably be up in about 20 minutes.  
So I guess I will just update a little bit about what we have been up to.  Aiden finally started his first day of school. He was so excited to see his classroom and meet his teacher. His first day went off without a second thought. He was asking me when I was going to leave. His second day, however, was a different story. He started the day off really tired so I think that was his problem from the start. He cried when I dropped him off and I basically had to peel him off of my leg. I felt so horrible!! He then had an incident after lunch where he got into a fight with another student.  He told me that the other kid hit him so he hit him back.  When he is at home we tell him to stand up for himself when someone hurts him but I am seeing how that may have backfired a little bit...hahah.. His third day was his first time riding the bus. He got on, he was happy and had a wonderful day at school. The fourth day.....Another meltdown which ended in him refusing to get on the bus and me having to wake Gia and Rich up to drive him to school.  To cap the week off, Friday he got on the bus with a little bit of tears, had a good day and went home to his dads for the weekend.  Sunday morning he woke up with a swollen eye and his dad ended up taking him to the Dr.  He ended up bringing home the lovely gift of pink eye. His whole second week of school he missed because of his prescription not working, clinic visits, pharmacy miscommunication...basically a slew of reminders of how our healthcare system is just completely failing. He was finally cleared to go back to school this Monday and it was basically starting over with the seperation anxiety. It was actually kind of cute his last day on Friday he got it into his head that this was the last day he would have to go to school....EVER.  Poor guy. I had to let him down gently that he had a long road of school ahead of him!! He is doing so well with his school work and I am so proud of him. I am seeing a big change in him already.

Richard is still my ball of energy through the day. He was really excited for all the hub bub of Aiden starting school. He was so upset when he didn't get to stay at Aiden's school and when he didn't get to ride on the bus. Rick and I were talking about  getting him into a preschool environment for a couple days a week to ease him into being away from me. He's only two but let's face it, at this point, I could really use a little bit of a break throughout the day too! His terrible two's are in full swing.  Our biggest struggle with him right now is getting him to keep his hands to himself.  He is a hugger and a wrestler and he just doesn't understand when enough is enough.  He gets lots of laughs for sure and he doesn't mind at all being the center of attention.

Gianna is slowly but surely following in the footsteps of Richard. She is a diva without a doubt.  She demands attention on her time and if she wants to be left alone, you better leave her alone. She has learned that she can scream and she is exercising those lungs!! She is turning into such a good eater. She loves her daddy and is so excited when he gets home.  She is still not sleeping very well but we are working on it. I am reaching the conclusion that I need to just learn how to function on little to no sleep because catching up, at this point, is not going to happen.

Rick is in the same place with work. Working a lot and waiting for his day to come.  He is next up for a promotion but it seems like there's going to be a lot of waiting for that to happen. His managing his own store would really help us out financially and I think would really boost his confidence in knowing that all of the hard work that he is putting in, plus time away from his family, will have finally paid off. I know everyone is at that stress level when it comes to money these days. God bless ya if you're not.  We just have to keep doing what we're doing and hope that things get better.  

I finally decided to get my butt back in school so today was my first day.  I am pretty excited to get back into everything. I think at this point in my life I am ready and I have the determination that I didn't have out of high school to get a good education.  My kids won't be small forever and when they are all in school I want to be able to have a good job that I love. I don't want to spend another day working in an environment that I hate. I want to be able to bring in a second income for my family and at this point anything extra would be amazing!!
Well I guess that is that! Gia is awake! Our all night party commences.....

Somebody Get Me A Whistle!

It is official.

I have become the referee of a never ending game of....I don't even know what you would call it at this point. Bickering would be putting it way too lightly. Fighting? It's more like mini Tug-O-War matches with a little bit of mental meltdowns mixed in somewhere. Aiden and Richard are both at this crazy non-sharing phase and I can't wait for it to be over. I can't even leave the room without Richard's screech that is loud enough to make your skin crawl, ring through the walls. Like any normal mother I come running expecting to see a blood bath but all I come to find is Aiden holding a Hot Wheel high above his head so Richard can't reach it.  Are there not 984,734,899 other hot wheels in their playroom?  I know I step on an average of 7 hot wheels a day so where are they?? And why isn't the purple Porsche good enough?? Will you die if you don't have that lime green Lamborghini?? I am slowly learning that I can't interject at every little conflict that they have and that sometimes I need to just sit on the sidelines and let them figure it out but jeez....

CAN I GET A SUB PLEASE???!!!!

 

My Other Half

There seems to be only so much time in the day. I could probably use a couple more hours in the day to get everything I want to get done! So again, apologies for the lengthy gap.  

In light of the upcoming holiday I figured I would give a little attention to the love of my life.

I don't know how to put into words how hard Rick works for us. He puts in 50+ hours a week and then some when you consider the days he comes home and takes over at least one kid from me. He is just the back bone of this family.  I couldn't ask for a better partner for me or father for my children.  He is just amazing and I am so thankful to be blessed with him. Anyone who doesn't enjoy a little bit of goosh can stop reading now!!

We met in November of 2007 through a mutual friend.  At that time it was just a hand shake, nice to meet you, type of thing.  We saw each other out a few times over the next couple of months.  On New Years Eve of 2008 my work had a party at Belushi's on campus.  I had planned to make a short appearance so I called a cab as soon as I arrived to ensure that I would get to my friends on 4th ave by midnight.  Rick came up to me and asked if I remembered him. We always laugh about that night because he was really trying to talk to me and get to know me and I was a grouch because my cab wasn't coming and I was just trying to leave.  Needless to say my cab never showed up and I rang in the New Year there and gave him a kiss on his cheek right next to his lips.  He would later tell me that I had him from that moment! A week passed and we saw each other out again the following Saturday.  We talked for a little while and ended up exchanging numbers and made plans to go for Sushi the next night. Funny thing about that is he is allergic to fish, which I didn't know at the time, but he agreed because I told him I loved it! That is just the type of guy he is.  Shortly after we went our own ways that night he got a phone call from his sister that his nephew had been in a fatal car accident. I didn't find out about this until the next day when I contacted him. I apologized and told him if there was anything he needed that I was there for him.  About 3 weeks passed and we hadn't seen each other. We had sent a couple of texts here and there but I knew he was with his family, where he needed to be. 

February 1st came and our friend had a super bowl party and I learned that he would be there. I was so nervous and so excited when he finally showed up. He didn't sit by me and I remember sitting there just thinking about him and not even watching the game.  We all ended up going out that night. We had a few drinks, got to know each other, danced and played pool. From then on we were pretty much inseparable. February 14th came around and I had not planned to do anything because at this point we weren't officially together and I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Later on that night Rick called and asked if I wanted to go meet him and his friend for drinks. At the time I was living with my mom so I was able to get a sitter and head over to meet them.  When I arrived I learned that his "friend" had flaked and it was going to just be he and I.  So we decided on dinner at P.F. Changs.  It was our first real date and every year since we have celebrated the 14th at P.F. Changs. Our relationship has been on the fast track from the start but I know that what we have is truly special. It is a new thing for me to connect on the level that we do.  He keeps me grounded and has no problem telling me when I'm getting out of hand.  I am so excited for the life that we are creating for ourselves and I'm the happiest that I have ever been. We have our downs just like anyone else but at the end of the day we make sure we are on the same team moving towards the same goals.  

I love you Rick!! You are my rock!!

The Neverending Checklist

Hello everyone! It has been a bit of a gap since my last post but I figured that would give me a little bit more to blog about.  We had quite a week starting Tuesday.  Gianna had her two month check up. She is a whopping 10lbs9oz.  Growing great. I mentioned to the Dr. about all of her stomach issues.  She seems to think that she may have some reflux and a lactose intolerance. Already cutting all dairy out of my diet, a week later, she is a completely new baby. She is actually sleeping through the night, which is just changing everything about our everyday activities.  

This weekend we had two birthdays and three baptisms to attend.
 A few weeks ago Rick and I had a conversation about how stressed out he was before we had to leave for the grocery store. He had expressed how much of a hassle it was to leave with all of the packing and such.  I had to just laugh and remind him that his job was simply to WAIT as I did all of the preparations for leaving.  Having two little ones in diapers, the space in my diaper bag is cut in half. I have to make sure to pack diapers and wipes for both of them, an extra outfit for the baby in case of a blow out.  The occasional need for Desitin, baby powder or Tylenol involves a separate tiny bag. I always pack a small Tupperware of random snacks; pretzels, cereal and of course I can't forget the emergency meltdown piece of candy, which I usually end up eating myself.  Once I have packed for the kids there is a tiny bit of space for things that I may need.  Wallet, Chap stick, hair-tie.  It is amazing that pre-kids I used to have a purse FULL of junk although then, it seemed to be all essentials. By the time I have mentally gone through a checklist for every child in my head and considered every possible emergency and melt down we are ready to get into the car.  Then comes the outside checklist. Do we have everyone's car seat in place? Are we going anywhere that requires a stroller? Will it be cold enough for an extra jacket or blanket?  It is never ending.  So by the time we actually get into the car and start to pull out of the driveway we usually have to stop in order for me to run back in and get my cell phone or a pacifier.  When we arrive at our destination I have usually forgotten something. Thankfully it's not something huge, usually just Richard's sippie cup or Gianna's burp rag.  Sometimes this process by itself wears me out and it does take me a little bit of time to recover.  It's nice that I finally got to explain this to Rick.  The planning that it takes to get four people ready to leave the house isn't just an after thought of, "Oh ya, the kids need their shoes and socks on."  It takes a lot more brain power and planning that sometimes starts the night before we know we will be going somewhere.  My goal is to not be so discouraged about this and to not stress so much about it either.  I want to enjoy myself on the rare occasion I do get to leave the house!!
I hope some of you mom's can relate, whether you  have one or multiple children.  Give yourself a pat on the back!

Hope

I have been stuck to CNN for the last two days just fixated  on the massacre that took place here in Tucson.  I can't express the horror in my gut as I watched these events unfold.  I don't understand what goes through people's minds when they commit senseless crimes against innocent people. . I just keep hearing about where we are pointing our fingers and to me, what it all boils down to, is that young man is to blame. Plain and simple. He will have to answer for his actions.  I am praying for a speedy recovery of all those who were injured.  Also for the families of those lost.

Things like this make me very afraid of the world that I am raising my children in. I can only make sure that I raise them with the values that I, myself, was raised with.  Treat others as you wish to be treated and always, always, always include God in your life, in the good and bad times.